Application For Permission To Date My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.
||Date of Birth:
|Social Security Number:
||Driver's License Number:
|Boy Scout Rank:
- Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:
- Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____
- Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____
- Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____
- Do you have a tattoo? ____
If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.
- In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?
- In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?
- In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?
- In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?
- Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
How often do you attend: ____________________________
- When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________
- Please fill in the blanks:
- If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________
- If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________
- A woman's place is in the ____________________________
- The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________
- When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________
Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised
- What do you want to be if you grow up?
I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.