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Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

  1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
  2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to the other passengers.
  3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!!"
  4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
  5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
  6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
  7. Shave.
  8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
  9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
  10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open; then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming!"
  13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
  14. One word: Flatulence!
  15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
  16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
  17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then say, "I got new under-roos on!"
  18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back saying, "Ohhhh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
  19. Meow occassionally.
  20. Bet the other passengers that you can fit a quarter in your nose.
  21. Frown and mutter, "Gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say, "Ooops, too late."
  22. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
  23. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
  24. Holler "Chutes away?" whenever the elevator descends.
  25. Walk in with a cooler that reads "Human Head" on the side.
  26. Stare at another passenger for a while, then say, "You're one of THEM!!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  27. Burp, and then say, "Mmmmmm...tasty!"
  28. Leave a box between the doors.
  29. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
  30. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers "through" it.
  31. Start a sing-along.
  32. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
  33. Play the harmonica.
  34. Shadow box.
  35. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
  36. Lean against the button pannel.
  37. Say, "I wonder what all these buttons do?" and push the red buttons.
  38. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
  39. Draw a little square on the floor with a chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
  40. Bring a chair along.
  41. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
  42. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body!"
  43. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
  44. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  45. Wear "X-Ray Specs." and leer suggestively at the other passengers.
  46. Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
  47. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
  48. Start eating a sandwich and offer to share it with the rest of the passengers.
  49. Start eating a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich and offer to show the passengers what the sandwich looks like in your mouth.
  50. Hum the "Blue Danel" and do arm pit farts for each of the cresendos.
  51. Start hacking and coughing in a crowded elevator and say, "Damn this flu virus."
  52. Let out a loud and robust fart and blame it on the passenger next to you.
  53. Let out a silent fart and say, "Ok folks...everyone take a deep breath!"
  54. Jump up and down in a crowded elevator to see if it meets the minimum safety standards.
  55. Play with the alarm button durring your ride.
  56. Play footies with the passenger next to you in a crowded elevator.
  57. Pick up the emergency elevator phone and make heavy breathing sounds into it.
  58. Act like you dropped your contact lens and tell everyone in the elevator not to move while you look for it.
  59. Put your face really close to the elevator doors and chant "open, open, open" during your ride.
  60. On a long elevator ride, let out a huge fart and say, "Darn it, I knew those pink stuffs wouldn't hold off my diarrhea."
  61. Start a human wave.
  62. Turn to your neighbor, perferably a woman, and say, "Do you ever get that unfresh feeling?"
  63. Go through your backpack yelling, "Where's my pet rat?"
  64. Mimick the sounds of the elevator.

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