A cop pulls over a man for speeding and running a red light. The cop says "Do you know that you were speeding?"
The fellow says "No sir, I was not speeding."
Just then his wife leans over and says "Actually you were going 90 mph."
The cop says "Do you know that you ran a red light?"
The fellow replies "No sir, I think the light was yellow."
His wife leans over and says "That light was red well before we entered the intersection."
The cop asks "Do you two always fight this much?"
And the wife says ..."Only when he's drunk."
Assorted | One Liners| Mostly True Stories| Signs of our Times