A guy walks into a bar with two lovely blondes leaning on his shoulders with dewy looks in their eyes, and a dwarf who's only two feet tall. He orders drinks for himself and his companions, paying from a fat roll of twenty-dollar bills. The dwarf jumps up on the bar, and runs up and down the whole length of the bar kicking over everybody's drinks. The bartender and the other patrons are rather perturbed by this, but the guy says, "Never mind, I'll buy a fresh round of drinks for everybody," pulling out more twenties.
As soon as the bartender has finished setting everybody up again, the dwarf jumps back up on the bar and kicks over everybody's drinks again. The bartender says, "That's it: you and your friends, out!"
The guy says, "Never mind, just set everybody up again, and I'll control the dwarf this time, and I'll pay for it, and here's an extra twenty for your trouble."
The bartender says, "OK, but I don't understand why you put up with him."
The guy says, "It happened like this. I found an old oil lamp, and being superstitious I rubbed it, and sure enough, out came a genie and granted me three wishes. I asked for a roll of twenties that would never end: POOF, there it was. I asked for two lovely blonde women, one for each arm, who are totally devoted to me: POOF, there they were. So finally I asked for a two-foot prick: POOF, there he was."
Assorted | One Liners| Mostly True Stories| Signs of our Times