Clues for Drunk Women
You Know It's Time to Go Home When...
- You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
- You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the
- You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.
- In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy
Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
- You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on
- You start crying.
- There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
- You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
- The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
- The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing
becomes strangely overwhelming.
- You've forgotten where you live.
- You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from all the cigarettes
you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10 times by now) you only
smoke when you drink.
- You yell at the bartender, who(you think) cheated you by giving you
just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or
- You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
- You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong
- You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
- Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
- You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).
- You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really