It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"?
Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F--k the Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee I Acocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, " You little shit if you ever say anything else I will have you killed."
Suzuki is frantic and yells at the top of his voice,
"Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted.
Assorted | One Liners| Mostly True Stories| Signs of our Times