Mefco's Random Joke Server

Mefco's 
    Random Joke Server


home
joke topics
funny stories
submit a joke
mailing list

advertise
about us
Prestige Mall

We would not be here without your support. If you enjoy our jokes, please make a PayPal donation to us by clicking on the small logo above. Please give whatever you think appropriate.

Mefco's 
    Random Joke Server

next joke|back to topic list

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervious I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door.

  1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
  2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
  3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
  4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
  5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
  6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
  7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook.
  8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
  9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
  10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T]
  11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."
  12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
  13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God"
  14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

home | advertise | about us
joke topics | funny stories | submit a joke | contributors
prestige mall | mailing list

Copyright © 2000 Mefco, Inc., All rights reserved. E-mail: info@randomjoke.com
Design by Neuco Image Group, Inc.
"Mefco" and "Mefco's Random Joke Server" are trademarks of Mefco, Inc.
Privacy Policy       Disclaimer